It is National School Counselling week. In honour I have created posters that you can feel free to download and use. The students are why school counsellors do what they do. It has been my… More
Copious Ways of Coping
Dealing with our distress is important to maintaining mental well-being and can be challenging. However, having a set of effective coping strategies can make a significant difference. We all need them young and old. You can build and use your own Coping Toolkit to navigate daily stressors and improve your overall mental health and wellbeing. Here are a few that I put together from A- Z to get you started. What works for you may not work for someone else.
The Feelings Thermometer
A feelings thermometer can help young people identify how they are feeling and will assist others in helping youth manage their emotions effectively. The thermometer is a simple tool that helps you gauge your current emotional state. Are you feeling calm and collected, or are you on the verge of a meltdown? Identifying this can help you choose the right coping strategies. If a young person is on the verge of a meltdown the way you help them will be much different than if they are at a 4-5 on a scale of 10.
Building Your Coping Toolkit
Your Coping Toolkit should include personalized strategies that work best for you. Here is an online Coping Toolkit that I created in Google Slides that you can use with youth.
Daily Reminders
Consistency is key when it comes to coping strategies. Here are some daily reminders to keep you on track:
- Reframe Your Thoughts: Practice turning negative thoughts into positive ones. This can help shift your perspective and reduce feelings of distress.
- Practice Gratitude: Take a moment each day to reflect on what you’re grateful for. This simple habit can improve your mood and outlook on life.
Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Identifying healthy ways to cope with distress is crucial for long-term well-being. Here are some methods to consider:
- Journaling: Writing down your thoughts and feelings can be a therapeutic way to process emotions.
- Healthy Distractions: Engage in activities you enjoy, such as reading a book , playing sports , creating art or watching a favorite show, to take your mind off stressors.
- Relaxation Techniques: Techniques such as progressive muscle relaxation and guided imagery can help lower stress levels.
Reducing Carried Distress
Carrying around unresolved distress can be burdensome. Here are a few strategies that may lighten your emotional load:
- Set Realistic Goals: Break down tasks into smaller, manageable steps to avoid feeling overwhelmed.
- Self-Compassion: Be kind to yourself and acknowledge that it’s okay to have off days.
- Seek Professional Help: Talking to a therapist or school counsellor can provide you with the help you may need. It’s a strength to reach out.
I love this podcast by Andrew Huberman as he interviews Dr. Victor Carrion on PTSD in youth. They are strategies we can all use with youth.
If you aren’t listening or paying attention to all the amazing interviews by @hubermanlab you may want to start today. Below are some of my adaptations of what Dr.Carrion had to say in his interview with Andrew Huberman. I love how Huberman shares all the fabulous resources on his web page. It’s a must go to space for all counsellors.
By incorporating coping strategies into your daily life, you can create a robust Coping Toolkit that helps you manage stress and enhance your mental well-being. Remember, it’s about finding what works best for you and practicing these techniques consistently. For more coping skills you can check out our book Counsellor Talk: Connecting Through Creative Counselling Techniques. There are copious resources inside.
Feel free to share your own coping strategies in the comments below. Let’s support each other in building healthier, happier lives!
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Let a Little Sunshine Into Your Life
In our journey through life, the words we tell ourselves can be incredibly powerful. Positive affirmations can transform our mindset, boost our confidence, and inspire us to take on new challenges. Sunflowers help to brighten our days, so here are a bit of both. Empowering affirmations to remind you of your inner strength and sunflowers to lift your spirits.
I Am Courageous
Embrace your bravery. Courage is not the absence of fear but the triumph over it. Every step you take forward, even when scared, is a testament to your courage.Some people need courage to face another day. Some need it daily to deal with life and others need a dose of courage now and then. May courage find you as much and as often as you need it.
I Am Confident
Believe in your abilities. Confidence comes from recognizing your worth and trusting in your skills. Know that you are capable of achieving great things no matter your circumstances or age.
I Am Enough
You are complete just as you are. Never let anyone make you feel otherwise. You have everything within you to succeed and be happy or to just be content with who you are and what you have in life.
I Can
These two simple words can be incredibly powerful. Whenever you doubt yourself, remember that you have the strength and capability to overcome any obstacle.It may be super challenging, but connect with others who can lift you up.
Let these affirmations be a daily reminder of the thoughts that you have the capacity to reframe at any moment in time. Repeat these affirmations to yourself every day, and watch how they transform your mindset and life. For more inspiration join counsellortalk on Facebook.
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Cead Mile Failte
“Cead Mile Failte” – a phrase that translates to “A Hundred Thousand Welcomes” in Irish. This ancient greeting encapsulates the warmth and hospitality that you will find in Cape Breton where I spend my summers and is a fitting introduction to the profound power of words.
Words Have Power
Words are more than mere combinations of letters; they hold meaning, emotion, and influence. Words have the capacity to inspire, heal, and transform.
Use Yours Wisely
Given their power, it is crucial to wield words with care and intention.as they have a lasting impact. Strive to use your words to build bridges, foster understanding, and spread positivity. Make people in your presence feel welcome.
By incorporating the spirit of “Cead Mile Failte” into your daily interactions and recognizing the profound capability of your words you can make life a little better for everyone with each word you choose.
As I celebrate my 66 years on this planet , I will continue to choose my words carefully knowing that life is always changing and that words truly matter.
The words I want to express to you today are thank you and know that I am so grateful that you read my blog . You matter in this world and I appreciate you for letting me be a little part of yours.
May each of your days be filled with a whole lot of joy and happiness. I am wishing for you all the good that life can bring you each day. A hundred thousand welcomes to you my friends. Cead Mile Failte.
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Love Your Reflection
In a world that often pressures us to conform to certain standards, it’s essential to remember that you are amazing just as you are. Self-acceptance is a powerful tool that can lead to a happier, more fulfilling life. Let’s dive into some ways you can start embracing your authentic self today.
Challenge Your Thoughts
We all have those negative thoughts that creep in from time to time:
- “I’m too fat.”
- “I’m too skinny.”
- “I’m not good enough.”
These thoughts can be incredibly damaging. The first step to overcoming them is to challenge their validity. Ask yourself, “Is this really true?” More often than not, you’ll find that these negative self-perceptions are unfounded.
Love Your Reflection
Take a moment every day to look at yourself in the mirror and appreciate your unique beauty. Remember, you are beautiful just as you are. There’s no need to compare yourself to others or strive for perfection.
Do It: Post Unfiltered Photos
One practical way to start embracing your true self is by posting unfiltered photos of yourself on social media. This small act can be incredibly liberating and sets a positive example for others, especially young people, to accept themselves as they are.
Lift Yourself Up and Others
Self-love isn’t just about feeling good about yourself; it’s also about uplifting others. When you lift yourself up, you’re in a better position to lift others up too. Spread positivity and encouragement wherever you go.
Find Your Power Pose
What is your power pose? A power pose is a stance that makes you feel strong and confident. Create one and share it with the world. Not only does this boost your confidence, but it also encourages others to find their inner strength.
In conclusion, embracing your authentic self is a journey that starts with small, intentional steps. Challenge negative thoughts, love your reflection, share unfiltered moments, lift others up, and find your power pose. Remember, you are amazing just as you are.
For more inspirational content and resources, check out some other posts on CounsellorTalk.com.
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Embracing Each Day with Positivity and Gratitude: Tips for a Fulfilling Life
Life is a fleeting journey, we never know what tomorrow will bring and it’s so easy to get caught up in the daily grind and forget to cherish the moments that truly matter. Here are some tips to help you embrace each day with positivity and gratitude.
Start Each Day In A Positive Way
Begin your day with a positive mindset. Whether it’s a smile, a morning meditation, or simply taking a moment to appreciate the sunrise, which I do a lot of, setting a positive tone can influence your entire day.
Take time to celebrate the small achievements and happy moments throughout your day. Whether it’s enjoying a walk along the beach, witnessing waves crashing against rocks, or sitting with loved ones by the Mira River, these moments add up to a fulfilling life. I start my day most days by watching the sunrise. I go for a daily walk with my neighbours and I look for ways to make my day as positive as I can.
End Each Day With Gratitude
Reflect on your day with a sense of gratitude. Acknowledge as many good moments as possible. Learn from the challenges, we all have them. It isn’t always easy to embrace the moments, but when you do you will feel much better about yourself and life. Appreciate all the beauty around you. It’s a simple yet powerful practice that can transform your outlook on life.
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Cape Breton In Your Summer Plans?
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The Artist Within
Since 2013 I have been discovering the artist within me. Growing up I was into sports playing hockey, lacrosse, ringette, and so many other sports. I continued to play lacrosse until the age of 60. I loved sports they brought me great joy, nurtured wonderful friendships and they allowed me to release my pent-up feelings. There were so many fabulous memories created as a result of playing sports that I will treasure forever.
I never saw myself or even considered that I could be an artist of any kind. But in the last few years, I have come to love art as much as I love sports. Art allows me to go to a place that takes me away for hours and hours at a time. A space where I am free of any negative feelings, a place where I do not worry about anything or have any cares. I am focused on the process and am grateful.
My grandfather who loved to dabble in artistic endeavours encouraged me to expand my mind and keep learning which I did throughout my life and continue to do so to this day. I love learning thanks to my Papa. He did not invite me to join him in his art, which I love to do with my own adult children, but I am grateful for his influence. I hope that someday my children will look back and see that I modeled a way to have fun, play, escape the worries of the world, and be their own kind of creative whatever that means for them.
Today I get to enjoy some sort of artistic endeavour almost daily. I am rereading The Artists Way on audio this time, which I read when it first came out over 30 years ago. If you haven’t read it, it’s a wonderful inspiring book that allows the artist in you to come out. Even though I was not an artist at the time I can see that the book influenced me in many ways throughout my life.
So for those of you who think I am not an artist, I am not a … trust that you can and believe that the gifts you have are meant to be shared. I am no longer afraid of failure, as a result of my etmooc experience in 2013, now I focus on the process and enjoy the journey. If you overcome your fears in one area ( join an online group focused on tech) you will overcome your fears in all other areas of your life with the collaboration and support of others. I keep learning and am constantly growing open to knowing that I am a work in progress and will be until the day I die.
The artist within me is alive and knows that I must continue to stay centered allowing new ideas and creative experiences to flow through me. I can’t wait to see what happens next. I hope you will too. Nurture the artist within.
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When You Impact A Life: The Ripple Effect
Do you ever stop to really think about the impact you have? I know that as a teacher, counsellor and therapist, I was always too busy to stop and reflect on the impact I was having unless I received a letter or note reminding me that I indeed did something that mattered. It’s often said that a single act of kindness or something that you say (words do matter) can set off a chain reaction, touching countless lives in ways we might never fully comprehend. Imagine standing on the beach as the sun sets, the waves gently lapping at your feet. Each wave represents a life you’ve touched, and the endless ocean symbolizes the infinite connections that stem from that impact. As a school counsellor therapist or teacher, this is the essence of your work—creating ripples of positive change.
You Don’t Just Impact One Life
When you really think about the times you extend a helping hand, offer a listening ear, or share a moment of understanding, you begin to see the ripples that go far beyond that initial interaction. These ripples spread out, affecting not just the person you directly helped, but also everyone they come into contact with. For example, helping a student navigate their anxiety not only empowers them. but also brings a sense of calm to their family and friends who witness their growth and resilience.
You can Have a powerful Impact That Isn’t always EASY to measure
Think about the joy in a group of friends’ faces as they gather for a photo, especially at graduation time. Your influence on one person in that group can enhance the happiness and well-being of everyone else there. It’s a beautiful, interconnected web of relationships and experiences that you may not take time to really think about. By fostering a supportive environment for one student, you help create a ripple of positivity that extends to their entire social circle.
The warmth and support you offer to just one individual can strengthen family bonds, provide guidance, and foster a sense of community. When a person feels supported and understood, they are more likely to extend that same kindness and understanding to their family and peers, perpetuating a cycle of compassion.
Each moment of support and encouragement you provide is a gift that keeps on giving, as it inspires people to pursue their dreams and share their passions with the world. You may never hear about it, but it’s there.
In the end, the impact you have is immeasurable. So, continue to do what you do one person at a time. Your role as a school counsellor, therapist or teacher is not just a job; it’s a mission.
Your journey of impact starts each day, and the ripples you create will touch countless hearts and help you affirm that what you say and do matters.
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Navigating Anxiety | Counsellor Talk
Does your mind sometimes feel like a tangled ball of yarn, with worries and fears pulling you in every direction? You’re not alone. Anxiety is a common emotion we all experience, but when it overstays its welcome, it can disrupt our daily lives.
Understanding Anxiety
Imagine anxiety as a fire alarm in your brain. It’s there to alert you of danger, but sometimes it goes off even when there’s no real threat—like when you burn toast. When anxiety becomes frequent, intense, and prolonged, it can interfere with your daily routine and overall well-being. Recognizing this is the first step towards managing it.
Anxiety is a common emotion, but when it becomes persistent, it can interfere with daily life. Frequency, intensity, and duration matter. If you’d like to understand more go to AnxietyCanada.com
Avoidance Behavior: The Sneaky Culprit
Avoidance might seem like a quick fix, but it’s a sneaky culprit that can make anxiety worse. Ask yourself: Are you dodging certain situations because of irrational fears? If the answer is yes, it’s a sign you need to address the root of your anxiety. Talking to a doctor or a counsellor can be incredibly helpful.
Stay Connected
Humans are social creatures, and sharing our feelings can be a powerful antidote to anxiety. I walk and talk almost daily with colleagues and friends and it is amazingly helpful to deal with a range of emotions. Whether it’s chatting with friends, joining a support group, or even writing in a journal, expressing your thoughts can reduce the feelings of isolation that often accompany anxiety.
Everyone Experiences It Differently
Just because you’re feeling anxious doesn’t mean you have an anxiety disorder. It’s essential to understand that everyone experiences anxiety differently. Educate yourself about anxiety and mental health to better navigate your emotions. Check out mentalhealthliteracy.org for more fabulous resources.
Professional Treatment: Your Toolbox
When anxiety becomes too much to handle on your own, it’s time to explore professional treatment options. Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) and medication are two effective methods for treating chronic anxiety. Finding the right approach might take some time, but it’s worth the effort to explore different options and regain control over your life.
Anxiety doesn’t have to rule your life. By understanding it, addressing avoidance behaviors, staying connected with others, and seeking professional help when necessary, you can manage anxiety and lead a fulfilling life. Remember, you are not alone on this journey.
For more resources check this out and for tips on well-being, visit counsellortalk on Facebook and join the conversation on Instagram @counsellortalkcanada.
Enjoy every second of every day and take care of yourself!
Note: This blog post is for informational purposes only and does not substitute professional medical advice.
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Mother’s Day Isn’t Always Easy
Mother’s Day, for many, it’s a day filled with joy, love, and gratitude for the incredible women who have shaped our lives. But for others, it can be a day tinged with sadness, longing, or even pain. Whether you’re grieving the loss of a mother or mother-in-law like me, navigating a strained relationship, experiencing or have experiencing infertility in the past, you are not alone.
First and foremost, it’s okay to feel whatever you’re feeling. Emotions are complex and valid, and there’s no right or wrong way to navigate them, especially on a day like Mother’s Day. If you’re struggling, give yourself permission to acknowledge and honor your emotions without judgment.
If you’re grieving the loss of a mother or a child, know that it’s natural for this day to bring up feelings of sadness, nostalgia, or even anger. Take the time to remember and cherish the memories you shared, and allow yourself to grieve in whatever way feels right for you. Surround yourself with supportive loved ones who can offer comfort and understanding. Be extra kind to yourself today.
For those who have faced infertility or struggling to conceive, Mother’s Day can serve as a painful reminder of unfulfilled dreams and desires. Know that your worth as a person is not defined by your ability to have children. Your journey is valid, and there is hope and support available to you, whether it’s through therapy, support groups, or connecting with others who understand your experience.
If you’re navigating a strained relationship with your mother or your children, remember that boundaries are important for your emotional well-being. It’s okay to prioritize your own needs and set boundaries that protect your mental health, even if it means stepping back from certain traditions or interactions on Mother’s Day. Esther Perel shares her experience with a post called I miss you and I’m happy you’re gone.
Ultimately, remember that you are worthy of love and compassion, regardless of your circumstances. If Mother’s Day feels difficult for you, know that it’s okay to create your own rituals and traditions that honor your experience and provide comfort. New rituals can be soothing and helpful. Whether it’s going for a walk and noticing all the beauty around you, practicing self-care, or simply being kind to yourself, prioritize activities that nourish your soul and bring you joy and peace.
And to those who are celebrating Mother’s Day with joy and gratitude, remember to extend empathy and compassion to those who may be finding this day difficult. Reach out to loved ones who may be struggling, offer a listening ear, and hold space for their emotions without judgment.
Above all, remember that you are never alone. Lean on your support network, seek professional help if needed, and remember that it’s a day.
On this day I’m pausing to think of all those who struggle for all the possible reasons and sending you as much positive energy as I can muster up.
Counsellor Talk : Connecting with those who want to make a difference. 